JUST TRY escaping the Triads, the crime syndicates of Asia. They’re everywhere. Not just Hong Kong and Taiwan, but Australia, Germany, Scotland and even the set of Jackie Chan’s Rush Hour 3. Here are a few of their recent hits and misses.

OBJET DART: Hong Kong triads are believed to be behind an elaborate poison-dart device intended to drug horses running at the Happy Valley racecourse, where a single race can take in nearly £20 million. The device was linked to a wireless receiver and would have struck the ponies at the starting gate.

RESTAURANT ROW: In Germany, a massacre in a Chinese restaurant left seven dead, and police suspect the Triads are to blame. The victims were found tied to chairs and shot in the head. In a Hollywood-like twist, the only witness is the daughter of the owners—a two-year-old girl.

SCOTTISH ROGUES: Two illegal Chinese immigrants were arrested in Scotland after growing “£200,000 of superstrength skunk” for the Triads. Chong Na, 51, and Qiang Gao, 27, were smuggled into the UK and then forced to work on a cannabis farm. Upon completing their three-year sentence, they’ll be deported to China to face a firing squad.

GANGLAND CINEMA: A Taiwanese “Celestial Way Gang” member named Chou Cheng-pao hurled death threats at a rival gang boss and it was all caught on video. Turns out the video was staged and shot by two TVBS reporters in what must have been a slow news day.

FOWL PLAY: Triads in Australia have been smuggling rare birds to Bangkok for heroin that’s sent back to Australia. Wildlife smuggling brings in $10 billion a year, making it the third most lucrative branch of illegal trade (after drugs and guns). Among the trafficked birds are cockatoos, lorikeets and the appropriately named gang-gang.

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