THOUGH ASIAN AMERICANS make up just 5 percent of the U.S. population, they make up a much larger proportion of the college population. At the University of California, Berkeley, students with East Asian and South Asian backgrounds make up more than 40 percent of the incoming freshman class. For non-Asians, seeing so many Asian faces can be intimidating and confusing. But it doesn’t have to be. Consider this a cheat sheet:

1. THE NERD
SOMETIMES MISTAKEN FOR: The Scary Loner
THE LOOK: Large head, underdeveloped limbs, very skinny or very fat
THE PROPS: Glasses, T-shirt with esoteric significance, textbooks
WHAT HE’S THINKING: “Who cares if that girl can beat me up? I bet she can’t calculate the volume of an irregular three-dimensional object in her head.”
THINGS YOU’LL OVERHEAR: “No way! Hiro from ‘Heroes’ is such a rip-off of Father Time from Captain America No. 383!”
WHO HE’S ATTRACTED TO: Manga girls
THINGS TO SAY TO GET HIM IN BED: “Don’t be frightened. I just want to show you that poster of Max Planck in my room.”
WHERE YOU’LL SEE HIM IN 10 YEARS: Silicon Valley mega-mansion—or the basement IT desk

2. THE ANGRY LESBIAN
SOMETIMES MISTAKEN FOR: A small, thin man
THE LOOK: Cropped, purple hair, wiry arms and frame, tattoos, piercings
THE PROPS: Tank top, baggy pants, canvas sneakers or combat boots
WHAT SHE’S THINKING: “God, I hate you so much.”
THINGS YOU’LL OVERHEAR: “He obviously couldn’t handle having a reasoned discussion with a strong female, so he just up and left, and everyone blamed me. God, I hate male professors so much.”
WHO SHE’S ATTRACTED TO: Women who look exactly like her
THINGS TO SAY TO GET HER IN BED: “God, I hate the whole patriarchy at this school so much. Wanna listen to my sister’s old Indigo Girls records?”
WHERE YOU’LL SEE HER IN 10 YEARS: Anything produced by Vivid-Alt

3. THE PRINCESS
SOMETIMES MISTAKEN FOR: Human being
THE LOOK: Perfect posture, expensive hair, exquisite mani-pedi, disdainful grimace
THE PROPS: Chanel glasses, Manolo Blahniks, $1,000 dress, $2,000 bag and cell phone surgically attached to the ear
WHAT SHE’S THINKING: “Eww. How could this … person … possibly think he has any right to stand within 20 feet of me?”
THINGS YOU’LL OVERHEAR: “Gawd, I’ve just had the most tragic day. Ivanka rescheduled my Brazilian and, like, 40 guys hit on me on the way to the Poli Sci building.”
THINGS TO SAY TO GET HER IN BED: “Have you fucked in a Bugatti yet?”
WHERE YOU’LL SEE HER IN 10 YEARS: Sadly, nothing produced by Vivid-Alt

4. THE FRAT BOY
SOMETIMES MISTAKEN FOR: A white person
THE LOOK: Strong upper body, strong arms, $100 haircut, probably bow-legged
THE PROPS: Fraternity T-shirt, sandals at all times, possibly a tasteful and distinctly non-gay earring
WHAT HE’S THINKING: “Dude, I get to live in a frat house, drink beer from kegs, bang the hottest Asian girl on campus, and I’m going to be an investment banker! Life is hella-good!”
THINGS YOU’LL OVERHEAR: “Dude, I get to live in a frat house, drink beer from kegs, bang the hottest Asian girl on campus, and I’m going to be an investment banker! Life is hella-good!”
WHO HE’S ATTRACTED TO: The hottest, ditziest Asian girl on campus
THINGS TO SAY TO GET HIM IN BED: “Tee-hee! My your arms are big! I bet you’re going to make hella-money as an investment banker!”
WHERE YOU’LL SEE HIM IN 10 YEARS: Morgan Stanley

5. THE SCARY LONER
SOMETIMES MISTAKEN FOR: The Nerd, The Unabomber
THE LOOK: Scrawny, acne-ridden, never speaks or looks you in the eye
THE PROPS: Hooded sweatshirt, Kmart shoes, dark overcoat, Adderall, firearms
WHAT HE’S THINKING: “One day my day will come, and then you’ll all learn who I really am.”
THINGS YOU’LL OVERHEAR: “…”
THINGS TO SAY TO GET HIM IN BED: “The violent images in your poetry don’t scare me in the least. Now let’s think of ways to take our revenge on society.”
WHERE YOU’LL SEE HIM IN 10 YEARS: “What Went Wrong?: A Retrospective of School Shootings” on CNN •