WE ALL KNOW that America’s not really a melting pot. It’s not even a salad bowl. But if anything, the racial undercurrents in the 2006 mid-term elections has shown us that this nation is more like a frittata. In this case, a Macaca-Baracka-Akaka frittata.

Let’s unpack the ingredients, shall we?

THE MACACA MOMENT

If only Virginia Sen. George Allen had said maraca. Instead, he called his opponent’s campaign volunteer (an Indian American) a macaca. A monkey. Now, we at TMM think monkey is a compliment—you know, playful, smart—but apparently not everyone feels this way. As soon as Allen uttered those hard, exotic syllables, it was open season on his character. He was accused of hiding his Jewish heritage and stuffing a dead animal’s head in a black family’s mailbox as a college prank. All of the sudden, a shoo-in for Allen became a real contest.

Allen’s Democratic challenger Jim Webb, a former Navy Secretary, gained in the polls and (as of press time) was poised to defeat Allen by the smallest of margins. If Webb is eventually declared the winner, we all have University of Virginia student S.R. Sidarth (aka Macaca) to thank. His “tracking” of George Allen with a videocamera allowed the senator’s true colors to really shine!

Almost as amazing as Allen’s fall from grace was how the macaca fracas helped mobilize Asian Americans to overcome their traditional political diffidence.

That Webb’s wife is a Vietnamese American may have helped. But outrage at Allen’s offer “to show Macaca here, the real America” was what prompted many in the Asian American community to step up their support. They turned out for rallies and organized fundraisers for Webb. They became a potential swing vote in a very tight race. (In Virginia, Asian American voters make up 3.1 percent of the voting age population.)

Even some of Hollywood’s Asian A-List joined Webb’s cause. Asian American filmmaker Eric Byler and “Lost” actor Daniel Dae Kim, for example, filmed promos for Webb’s campaign. (For Sen. Allen’s benefit, we note that Kim was born in Busan, Korea, but was raised in Pennsylvania). In perfect English, DDK spoke for many of us on the margins when he said a vote for Webb is a vote for a multicolored America.

BARACKA VS. AKAKA

Which brings us to the ubiquitous Sen. Barack Obama, the Great Brown Hope of many Democrats and moderate Republicans. As the nation looks toward the presidential election in 2008, this son of a Kenyan father and a Kansan mother might be the One to unite red-staters and blue-staters and Americans of all backgrounds. While he’s certainly bringing sexy Barack, he’s only been in the senate for two years. Instead, may we suggest the equally sexy three-term senator from polyracial Hawaii—the newly re-elected Sen. Daniel Kahikina Akaka?

Barack, Akaka. Truth be told, we’d vote for just about anybody who could get us the hell out of Iraqa. •