IT’S NOT EASY keeping all those madmen, raving lunatics and garden-variety supremacists straight. They keep coming out of the woodwork—Michael Richards, Mel Gibson, George Allen, now Kenneth Eng—to join the haters’ club. Let’s see how you well you knew your megalomaniacs.

WHO SAID WHAT?

1) “I’m not a racist. That’s what’s so insane about this.”
(a) Joe Biden
(b) Andy Dick
(c) Kenneth Eng
(d) Michael Richards

2) “This is the epitaph I want on my tomb: ‘Here lies one of the most intelligent animals who ever appeared on the face of the earth.’”
(a) Bill O’Reilly
(b) Mao Tse-Tung
(c) Benito Mussolini
(d) Kenneth Eng

3) “A dictatorship would be a lot easier…so long as I’m the dictator.”
(a) Kenneth Eng
(b) George W. Bush
(c) Mao Tse-Tung
(d) Joseph Stalin

4) “Most religious people I’ve met tend to be incredibly stupid/poor. They are usually Black/Hispanic immigrants who do not have the brains or the balls to understand science and thus resort to reading retarded stories about saviors and saints.”
(a) L. Ron Hubbard
(b) Sam Harris
(c) Kenneth Eng
(d) Richard Dawkins

5) “It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!”
a) Kenneth Eng
b) Friedrich Nietzsche
c) George Bush
d) Ann Coulter

6) “I’m not set on a pedestal where I think I’m too high and mighty.”
a) Benito Mussolini
b) Kenneth Eng
c) Naomi Campbell
d) George W. Bush

7) “I went to the psychiatrist and this is what he said. He said, ‘Ooo-ee-ooo-ah-ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang.’ And then he shrunk my dick.”
a) Tom Cruise
b) Michael Richards
c) Isaiah Washington
d) Kenneth Eng

8) “The fact of the matter is psychiatrists and psychologists are the modern versions of what priests were in the past.”
a) Friedrich Nietzsche
b) Kenneth Eng
c) L. Ron Hubbard
d) Sigmund Freud

9) “In what does this preservation of African American culture consist? It can hardly consist in anything more than eating black-style food, listening to black-style music, wearing black-style clothing and going to a black-style church or mosque.”
a) Ann Coulter
b) Ted Kaczyinski
c) David Duke
d) Kenneth Eng

10)“Kill every goddamn Zionist in Israel! Little babies, goddamn old ladies! Blow up Zionist supermarkets!”
a) Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
b) Mel Gibson
c) Malik Zulu Shabazz
d) Osama bin Laden

11) “Secular schools can never be tolerated because such schools have no religious instruction, and a general moral instruction without a religious foundation is built on air; consequently, all character training and religion must be derived from faith.”
a) Pat Robertson
b) Osama bin Laden
c) Pope Benedict X
d) Adolf Hilter

12) “They’re never very high in anyone’s caste system, are they? Poor little Pakis.”
a) Princess Michael of Kent
b) William F. Buckley Jr.
c) Ann Coulter
d) Jawaharlal Nehru

13) “Slant-eyed gook!”
a) Ice Cube
b) John McCain
c) Mark Wahlberg
d) Rosie O’Donnell

14) “The cult of xenophobia is the cheapest and surest method of obtaining from the masses the ignorant and savage patriotism, which puts the blame for every political folly or social misfortune upon the foreigner.”
a) Kenneth Eng
b) Pat Buchanan
c) Pol Pot
d) Mao Tse-Tung

BONUS QUESTION: “I don’t know about you, but I masturbate all the time. It’s not going to affect me in any way, aside from making me need to take baths more often.”
(a) Andy Dick
(b) Kenneth Eng
(c) Ted Haggert
(d) Bai Ling





Answers: 1-D; 2-C; 3-B; 4-C; 5-B; 6-C; 7-D; 8-B; 9-B; 10-C; 11-D; 12- C; 13-C; 14-D; Bonus-B

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