MY OWN INDIAN WEDDING in February shared nothing more in common with Liz Hurley’s multi-million dollar disaster than orange marigolds. And yet, despite my warm welcome, happy memories, and lack of lawsuits, I did learn a thing or two about Indian in-laws. If only Ms. Hurley had thought to ask.

Be fashion conscious. Marriages are festive occasions, and in India, festive means colorful. A little glinting gold jewelry doesn’t hurt either. However, it’s never acceptable for women to dress provocatively—a traditional sari, demurely wrapped, is the best choice, or a conservatively cut Western dress.

Invite everyone. Weddings are large family affairs, and the Western concept of small and intimate doesn’t always translate very well. If in doubt, invite, especially relatives. Your Indian family will appreciate a modest affair with a generous guest list more than a lavish event that excludes aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Gifts matter. Traditionally, only the bride’s guests are expected to bring a gift. However, these days all guests would do well to bring a gift. The lavishness of your gift is correlated to your rank within the family—make sure not to upstage elders with over-the-top presents. Giving money is entirely acceptable, but give an uneven amount (like $101) for good luck.

Respect tradition. No matter how casual and close your in-laws are, religion is still a serious matter for most Indians, Hindu or otherwise. Indians are always happy to explain their traditions if you ask politely, so make sure you understand your role ahead of time. If you are not Hindu, make sure your new in-laws are comfortable including you in pujas and in the saptapadi.

All eyes are on the bride. Most importantly, it’s the bride’s day. That means she receives special honors, but she’s also under special scrutiny. Your wedding day is not the time to say or do anything that might embarrass your new relations. Just ask Liz Hurley. •

Summer Block Kumar is a freelance writer and critic living in Shanghai with her newlywed husband, Dev.