ONCE UPON A TIME, all you had to do to be a sexually enlightened individual was to master the ancient teachings contained in the Kama Sutra, the 1,800-year-old Indian guidebook to the art of love. No more. Thanks to the porn industry, the “position of the wife of Indra” and the “congress of a herd of cows” are as antiquated as saving yourself for marriage. But we here at TMM have dug up a bevy of sex manuals (inspired by Py Kim Conant’s “Sex Secrets of an American Geisha”) that demonstrate that when it comes to copulation, 3,837,899,349 Asian people can’t be wrong.

1. HOW TO MAKE LOVE LIKE A COMFORT WOMAN
By Park Yo-Poon

2. HOW TO FUCK TILA TEQUILA: THE COMPLETE IDIOT’S GUIDE

3. GANG OF FOUR: THE PEOPLE’S GUIDE TO GROUP SEX
By Kou Jiao

4. FROM KHMER ROUGE TO MOULIN ROUGE: ONE GIRL’S STORY
By Seks Pot

5. THE POI OF SEX: POLYNESIAN POLYSEXUALITY
By King Kamannawannaleia

6. THE DANGEROUS BOOK FOR LADYBOYS
By Kumtathinkuvit Tittiporn

7. THE ABCs OF FOBs
By Hyman Fecalstain

8. THE RISE OF THE DONG
By Phuc Dat Bich

9. THE ISLAMABADBOY’S GUIDE TO FUDGE-PAKISTAN

10. FUCK THE JAPANESE
By The Rest of Asia

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