In the mix this week …

ENTER THE DANCING DRAGON We thought things looked grim for Broadway when the words “Legally Blonde, The Musical” lit up the Great White Way, but now the stage has set its sights on the Far East and we couldn’t be more scared. First offense: “Bruce Lee: Journey to the West,” a musical Variety calls “B’way’s kung-fun kickoff,’ which we can only hope will be less offensive than the inevitable puns in the press. Second (and equally WTF-worthy) offense: “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, The Musical”?? Those irascible Weinstein brothers have sold (out completely) the rights to Ang Lee’s gravity-defying film to the Tony crowd. Why anyone would want to touch Yo-Yo Ma’s gorgeous score is beyond us, but if the changes involve all the characters shufflin’ off to Buffalo at some point, we might be on board.

KEEP YOUR PANTS ON YOUR MOUTH SHUT In one of the dumbest (has-been) celebrity statements in, well, at least a few weeks, Sharon Stone not only shit on the victims of the recent earthquake in Sichuan, but also confirmed that she is as cold-hearted as the characters she played in the ’90s—back when she mattered. According to Xinhua, Stone claimed the earthquake was simply “karma” for the past abuses of the Chinese government. Yes, Sharon, karma is why 1,800 parents are childless right now, that makes perfect sense. As a response, China’s largest movie retailer has banned all of her films. Karma is a bitch, no?

NEWS FLASH: RACISM IS FUNNY Or at least it is according to Ricky Gervais. This was the justification for the recent “Saturday Night Live” sketch on the show’s season finale that loosely applied the word parody to a reenactment of “The Office” pilot in Japanese. The cross-cultural adaptation has some pretty stereotypical caricatures of Japanese culture, like giggling with hands over mouth. Okay, maybe it was a little racist, but we’re not sure that’s what made it funny. As Angry Asian Man points out, the impressions of the American characters were dead-on, so maybe “SNL” should have stuck to a straight parody, and left the Japanese alone to their flash mobs and indecipherable game shows.

REALITY BITES There’s already a dearth of Asian-American faces on primetime and cable, and it seems television can’t decide just how it feels about that. Audiences and judges gave Kristi Yamaguchi another jewel to her ice queen crown, as “Dancing with the Stars” champ. However, the judges gave the highly talented and equally arrogant Filipino chef Dale Talde the boot on “Top Chef,” leaving the competition to whine its way to the finale and us to tune off. Okay, okay, Chef Hung won last year, but Dale seemed just as talented and a lot less socially awkward. And lastly, according to TMZ, television is giving Sanjaya Malakar yet another chance to be one big joke, as he will soon be seen in commercials for Nationwide, shot in India, hawking what else but sound planning for retirement. Hilarious? Absolutely. •