“TMNT,” the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, hits the theaters Friday, hoping to slay 300 Spartans at the box office. Will Leonardo, Donatello and the boys end up as turtle soup or might they inspire a whole new generation of ninja-wannabes?

Masaaki Hatsumi is one man who’s probably hoping for the latter. Fresh ninja meat is exactly what the world-famous ninja grandmaster is after. As the last living grandmaster of ninjutsu, the 76-year-old Hastumi has been searching for a worthy successor, but it hasn’t been easy.

Japan’s young people don’t seem all that interested in learning the espionage skills of medieval assassins. At this point, Soke Masaaki Hatsumi has even suggested that a non-Japanese person could become the first grandmaster of ninjutsu. Though legions of dorky non-Asian guys are already sharpening their ninja stars hoping for the job, the grandmaster is keeping mum about his current favorites.

Think you’re up for ninjahood? Hundreds of dojos around the world already follow Masaaki Hatsumi’s rigorous teachings, which focus on mental as well as physical discipline. Just be warned, this grandmaster believes one has to be prepared “to kill your students.” Sort of a spare the rod, spoil the child philosophy.

Before applying for the job, take a look at the guidelines posted on his dojo’s website.

“Individuals with criminal records shall be turned away. Trouble makers, those who commit crimes, and those living in Japan who break domestic laws shall be turned away.”

Guess you have to engage in espionage and assassination in a law-abiding way. A closer inspection also reveals that everyone at the Bujinkan needs to get a membership card. Who knew? Ninjas wear masks and carry ID!

“All those joining the Bujinkan must get an annual membership card. This card not only preserves the honor of the Bujinkan members, it indicates you are part of a larger whole—one whose members come together with warrior hearts to better themselves through training and friendship.”

Hmm, does this larger whole include teens, mutants and turtles too? Just wondering. •