In the mix this week:

THERE WILL BE M. NIGHT: The trailer for “The Happening,” director M. Night Shyamalan’s first R-Rated outing, has been popping up all over the internet this week. As ambiguous as ever, M. Night takes a little detour down guts-and-gore lane giving us a trailer replete with blood, screaming, lots of confused running around, and bodies falling from the sky like raindrops. The fans who have forgiven the director of “Lady in the Water” have kept the message boards buzzing with speculation over this movie’s twist, but at least this time one thing’s for certain: we’ll all be seeing dead people, a lot of them.

BEWARE “THE EYE”: If Hollywood’s not completely blind, “The Eye” should spell the end of subpar Asian remakes. This “latest Western deconstruction of successful Asian horror movie” stars the ever-boring Jessica Alba and replaces all tension and suspense with shlock and gore. Of course who’s really to blame here? Here’s a thought: let’s all try reading some subtitles, and then remakes won’t be necessary.

RAMBO VS. BURMA: Breaking news!! Sly Stallone’s new HGH-fest Rambo is not so popular with the Myanmar junta. No one should be shocked that “Rambo 4,” a movie that villifies the Burmese militia—insert your politics here—is banned by the government, but in the classic forbidden-fruit scenario, pirated copies have become the “must have” item on the black market this season. DVD Extra: Sly has also become a hero to Burmese dissidents who have taken up the movie’s catchphrase: “Live for something or die for nothing.”

THAO NGUYEN, INDIE STAR: Thao Nguyen and her band the Get Down Stay Down are getting some serious love from publications like Bust Magazine and indie tastemakers Pitchfork Media. Blending rock and youthful sensibilities, Nguyen and her boys recently released their new album, We Brave Bee Stings and All, to near unanimous kudos. With her indie street cred in tow, Nguyen will soon be touring the U.S. and breaking the hearts of boys in skinny jeans everywhere.

PEACE FOR YOGI: The man responsible for introducing transcendental meditation into mainstream Western culture has died of natural causes at age 91. Maharishi Yogi first gained worldwide fame for teaching this spiritual practice to the Beatles. A falling out with said band didn’t keep the yogi from bringing his message to the world, thus laying the groundwork for Western yuppies to try and find themselves. •

When not braving the sharky waters of the entertainment industry, Laura Turner Garrison spends her time writing, performing comedy, and picking apart Hollywood, one celeb at a time.